Islabre's Personal Website

Go slow

2026-10-16T14:41:19Z

Life can be overwhelming. Too many tasks to ace. Too many commitments. Too many expectation.

Too many.

In attempts to get them done, we rush. We juggle multiple tasks at a time. We do the bare minimum.

We spread ourselves too thin.

Then we get burnt out. Exhausted. Demotivated.

What a world to live in.

There is another way. Where we will be less likely to get burnt out, exhausted, or demotivated.

It's to go slow.

Why go slow in a fast-paced world?

Going slow means you can take breaks. You can focus on one thing at a time. You can make high-quality work.

Going slow means enjoying the process of going "there". Prioritizing quality over quantity. Treasuring pain, joy, sadness, frustration, regret, and all of your emotion when you are going there.

Going slow means trying to understand. To go beneath the surface level of knowledge. To value thorough inspection.

In a world where being fast is the norm, going slow reminds you what matters.

What going slow is not?

Going in a snail pace. It's about doing things in the right speed.
Being lazy. It's about preserving your health while still creating value.
Stagnant. As long as you do not stop, slow does not mean stopping. It is moving.

How to go slow?

Procrastinate less. Small, incremental work over time is better than a big, rushed work at deadline.
If possible, reduce non-essential commitments. Life is too short to try to do it all.
Reduce distraction. Close your Discord, Facebook, TikTok, Youtube, etc. If it's noisy in your house, use a noise-cancelling headphone. I usually listen to Lo-fi in low volume while working, but you can go with other ambient music as well, or no music at all if the task is cognitively demanding.
Take breaks. It's tiring to focus over a long period. Take out your headphone. Drink water. Stretch yourself. Look outside. Work can wait, but your health cannot.

Closing

It can be tough to go slow. After all, we're conditioned to this world.

But the alternative won't help you in the long run.

Hope this resonates with you.

See you.

I'm trying

2026-10-03T13:39:02Z

To be human is to fail. Constantly.

You may fail to live up to your values.

You may fail to be kind to yourself because of it.

You may fail to do anything because of your expectation.

But, better is possible.

As long as you don't give up, you can rise.

Start creating. Start sharing. Start living.

Be kind to yourself, since you can always try again.

Expect less. Go for it. Embrace what happen next.

Rise up.

Craving

2026-09-20T15:25:20Z

It's terrifying. When it comes, I cannot stop.

I crave for meaning. I crave for relationship.

But why? Why do I crave for them?

Is it because there's a void inside me, wanting to be filled?

Or is it because I've never felt content with what I have?

I have friends who support me. I have found the meaning I've been looking for. Hell, I know all of that.

But.. the feeling is still there.

Am I greedy? Am I really wanting more?

...

What if I'm happy with the present?

What if, instead of wanting more, I look for quality?

Wouldn't it be better for me, since it aligns with what I value?

Isn't it worth pursuing, instead of yearning for more of more?

...

Guess I will go for it, and let it uncover itself in my life.

See you.

Go for it

2026-09-16T13:06:40Z

Life is full of uncertainties, we all know that.

Yet, we fear.

"What if my friend dislike me for what I will do?"

"What if I will waste my time for nothing?"

"What if it won't turn out well?"

...

Do it anyway, regardless of your fear.

Because, how can you know whether imagined scenerios will be true?

What if it will actually turn out well? Or even better?

Even the scenerio were true, so what? At least you did it, with all of your hope.

That's what matters.

Just go for it, and embrace what happens next.

In your dark time

2026-09-16T12:56:24Z

Treasure people who try to bring you back to the light, because they are your true allies.

Even if it's hard, come back to the light with them.

You have a life ahead. You have people who believe in you, regardless of your flaws.

And, despite everything, you are still here.

Rise up. Stay hopeful. Stay determined.

Go.

Meaning of life

2026-09-11T02:43:41Z

It took me so long to find, but.. I've found the meaning of life.

It's to share, to create, and to live.

And they complement each other.

I live so I can share and create. I create to share. I share and create so I have the will to live.

They fuel each other.

I should've found this sooner, but.. only when life happens that I can find this.

Heh. Now when I think about it, I feel grateful that I can still experience life.

See you.

Meaningful relationship

2026-09-11T00:36:36Z

I've met many people in my life. Some of them are classmate, some are roommate, some are now just an acquaintance.

But meaningful? It's rare. Especially nowadays.

It's even harder to find one when I'm socially awkward..

Every time I want to talk, my mind just.. blocked itself. I stutter. I fumble.

I just prefer being a listener and an observer.

But.. when I found that one person who accept me regardless of my trait, I stay with them. I treasure the relationship.

I am happy to be with them. I want to make memorable moments with them. I want to give back.

It's the meaning I've been looking for.

I have one such person, and he's on the internet.

How strange, huh?

But.. that is still good.

When I'm feeling down, he stays with me. He gives me comfort.

He also treasures our relationship as much as I do.

I just feel happy talking with him.

If he's reading this right now, thank you.

Thank you for accepting me. It means a lot to me..

To reader, may this resonate with you.

See you.

Create

2026-09-01T11:44:01Z

Whenever I create something that benefits people, I feel happy. I feel a sense of purpose. It's like I'm designed to be this way.

To create. To share. To help.

In contrast, playing games or binge-watching Youtube does not provide me these feeling. Instead, I feel numb. I feel tired.

I feel.. meaningless.

They don't provide me these feeling. Even if they were, it's fleeting at best.

Is it just me? Or are we wired to be in service of others?

Are we designed to contribute to the world, regardless of whether we think we can't?

If so, might as well do it. Create something. Share it. Help people out.

If I don't feel like doing it, that's fine. It's human to be so. I should do other things instead.

See you.

Moving on

2026-08-21T02:04:02Z

Because life is too short to fight technology, and having non-tech hobbies is more fulfilling.

I will move back to GitHub ~~and stop self-hosting~~.

Thank you Hetzner, Codeberg, etc. It was nice using them.

See you later.

Aug 31, 2026 UPDATE: I still use Hetzner for hosting my websites and services, since it allows flexibility for what I can host, unlike SaaS providers.

Choose your own battle

2026-08-06T12:56:03Z

I don't have much time to spend. I'm not powerful enough to fix all of current world problems. I'm just a young, disillusioned person navigating life.

Hence, I must choose my own battle, since I cannot win all of them at once.

What does this mean in practice?

I can prefer to use free, open source software while still using proprietary Operating System such as Windows or MacOS. I can refrain from using AI in my code while still using AI-affected technologies such as rsync or Linux. I can be easy-going on the outside while still following my compass.

This is not compromising my values. This is prioritising how I value my time.

I don't have much time to deal with computer problems. I don't want to stop using a piece of technology just because it goes against of what I think it should be. I don't want to appear ideological while producing no value.

All in all, it's about being adaptive.

It's sad that I cannot achieve purity and perfection. But what I receive instead will be sanity and time.

And in this burning world, this seems to be the path forward.

Being ideological does have its own benefits, but rejecting reality won't help.

See you.

A month of self-hosting

2026-08-04T01:30:36Z

It has been a month since I last bought a cloud server from Hetzner for self-hosting my websites. It's eye-opening experience, and here I am sharing what I've learnt.

Some of these may be unrelated to self-hosting itself, but it's more about experience I gained during last month.

AI bots

They are real and annoying. When I read about them, I didn't fully understand how bad they are, until my server keeps getting traffic from them. I learnt the hard way that as soon as you publish your website to the web, you will see bots. Somehow. And it's hard to tell if there's any real people in that noise.

As far as I can see, these bots mass-scan for endpoints that I don't serve:

I don't use WordPress, nor any CMS. My website is served from a static folder generated by 11ty that is uploaded manually using rsync.

That's suck. These bots mass-scan for vulnerability. I think my server would get compromised very soon if I hadn't properly configured firewall and web server.

I'm not sure why I stopped trying to block them. Perhaps because I'm too tired.

Simplicity

At first, this website is deployed with Coolify. I thought it's a good idea since it provides ease of management, and also the team behind it has a promo-code for Hetzner.

I stopped using it soon after, since I prefer bare-metal experience, and I don't want to deal with the trouble of multi-layered abstraction.

I learnt how to configure Nginx and acme.sh. Although I need to jump around the web to read, it helps me understand.

And it's simpler.

Perhaps that's the point of doing these things manually yourself. It's about understanding and simplicity.

Disillusion

The more I dig deeper into tech, the more disillusioned I am.

Much of the points against AI are already written and I'm not going to repeat them here.

Scope-creep is a real concern. Anything that tries to do too much ends up not doing anything well (I'm looking at you, systemd). Sometimes I look at BSD solutions and I find them to be more sane. I'm even thinking about migrating to BSD for my server.

Obsession of money is the reason why tech has gone shit. Don't get me wrong, it's crucial to make money especially if you are running a business, but I wonder where the line between enough and greediness is.

I'm getting tired of these. Sometimes I wonder if I've chosen the wrong field.

Closing

Well, guess that's most of the experience I gained during last month of managing my own server.

I wonder how this month will go. Guess we'll see and adapt.

See you.

Multiple interests

2026-08-02T04:10:11Z

I have a bad habit of dedicating whole day for something I like to do. While I love doing it, it leads me to be exhausted as time goes by.

And eventually, I got burnout. It isn't a good idea after all.

The solution I've found, beside taking breaks, is to have multiple interests and schedule.

For example, beside programming, I can do 3D modeling, reading blogs, managing server I own, writing blogs, thinking, etc.

If I don't feel like doing modeling, I can write a blog, SSH to my server for checking, or sit there and think.

Beside this, having a schedule also helps. I can do programming in the morning, studying English in the afternoon, and pursue my other interests in the evening.

Not only I can maintain my energy every day, but also by having multiple hobbies, it provides a better way to spend my time than watching YouTube or being on social media.

And, it's not like you have to pursue all of your interests in a day. You can span it to multiple.

It's worth giving a try.

This is not about spreading yourself too thin. This is about maintaining your health while having better things to do in your time.

See you.

Adapt

2026-07-22T00:47:12Z

What should you do when the unexpected come?

Will you complain? Will you resist? Will you wish that it shouldn't be this way?

No. Being like that won't solve anything.

The only way is to adapt. To be pragmatic.

To be adaptive is to be flexible. In the face of uncertainty, by remaining flexible, you can move forward.

Complaining won't help. Resisting won't help. Wishing won't help either.

What does is being adaptive. Being flexible.

But, do not lose your ideal. Just because you are flexible, doesn't mean you should leave behind your value.

Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.

— Theodore Roosevelt

The stars are your dreams, your values. The ground is reality. By balancing both, you can become who you want to be.

So, be adaptive, while keeping your value.

What it means to be human

2026-07-20T08:41:47Z

We fumble, flop, and fail. We make mistakes. We cause trouble.

But, we can learn. We can grow. We can fix them. We can try our best.

It is what makes human unique and beautiful.

Generate AIs cannot be human, no matter how hard we try. Although they also fumble, flop, and fail, they cannot 'learn'. They cannot grow. Because they are, at their core, probabilistic machine.

They are also soulless. Reading a text generated by ChatGPT feels more dull than reading a blog written by a human being.

A text written by a human being has style. It has a soul. It conveys what the writer is thinking. It reflects their experience.

It is what makes a blog worth reading.

Hence, if you use these AIs to write blog for you, then you are not writing. You are generating noise.

To be human is to think. To reflect. To slow down. To be better.

As soon as you start using these AIs, you stop thinking. You stop creating. You start consuming. Just like how social media and news have been enginnering us to.

But, you can do better.

You can start thinking. You can start creating. You can start failing. You can start being better.

You can start being human.

Wiki

2026-07-19T11:07:48Z

I found that each time I change tools, configuration, etc., I feel the need to post about it. But, they will be outdated as time goes by.

So, inspired by btxx's wiki page, I have a personal wiki now. And it fits my need well. I can update entries as I gain knowledge about server administration, tech, etc. without having to pollute posts with UPDATE notice.

They might be useful to you if you want to setup or configure something.

Thanks to Bradley Taunt for inspiration, and see you later!

Simple tech, simple way, simple life

2026-07-16T10:44:40Z

I like simple tech and simple way of doing things. If a job requires multiple steps with complicated technology, I won't be willing to do it.

Server

For example, I want a way to visualize web server log. I looked at solution like Prometheus and Grafana, and I was like "nah not gonna do this".

...until I saw GoAccess.

I was like "view web server log directly in the terminal? That looks so cool!"

What I needed to do is:

sudo apt install goaccess
sudo goaccess /var/log/caddy/personal-website.access.log --log-format CADDY

That's it. No further setup needed. And it does what I wanted: a way to view web server log visually.

Wanting to keep the dashboard running? Attach a tmux session and run goaccess inside it.

Simple.

Other piece of tech I started using is Caddy. I wanted to have automatic HTTPS without having to deal with certbot and simple configuration syntax.

At first, I hesitate from using it due to it not having rate-limiting feature. It is provided as a 3rd-party module and I need to use xcaddy to compile it.

Well, on the bright side, it provides simple way to configure wildcard certificate for Porkbun.

My Caddyfile is just like this:

{
    acme_dns porkbun {
        api_key {env.PORKBUN_API_KEY}
        api_secret_key {env.PORKBUN_API_SECRET_KEY}
    }
}

(rate_limit) {
    rate_limit {
        zone static {
            match {
                method GET HEAD POST
            }

            key static
            events 10
            window 1s
        }

        log_key
    }
}

islabre.fyi {
    root /srv/Personal-Website
    file_server

    log {
        output file /var/log/caddy/personal-website.access.log
    }

    import rate_limit
}

Also, no more Anubis. I should utilize normal firewall like ufw instead.

Keep it simple.

Website

This website looks simple and barebone. It's my choice. This UI style is applied to many projects I started.

Why? Because it's lightweight and fast. And I don't have to debug my UI often.

If you don't like it, it's fine. I'm not here to please you.

I'm capable of making pretty UI if I'm willing to. I decided to stay simple instead.

Why?

Why stay simple? Why be "boring"? Why?

Because complexity costs everything, from money to my sanity.

And by staying simple, I can be more flexible.

Maybe this resonate with you.

See you.

Anubis is now protecting this website

2026-07-14T13:57:35Z

Guess we cannot have peace operating on the web without these bots trying to scrape this website:

I only start this website like a week ago and I have to deal with this!?

Sad.

Anyway, here's now I setup Anubis to help stopping them.

Setup

As always, SSH to the server first:
```
ssh personal-server
```

Install Anubis deb from GitHub:

curl -fLO https://github.com/TecharoHQ/anubis/releases/download/v1.25.0/anubis_1.25.0_amd64.deb
apt install ./anubis_1.25.0_amd64.deb

Copying default configuration so I could do it for each website I serve:

cp /etc/anubis/default.env /etc/anubis/personal-website.env
cp /usr/share/doc/anubis/botPolicies.yaml /etc/anubis/personal-website.botPolicies.yaml

Configure /etc/anubis/personal-website.env:

BIND=:8923
BIND_ADDRESS=tcp
DIFFICULTY=4
METRICS_BIND=:9090
SERVE_ROBOTS_TXT=0
POLICY_FNAME=/etc/anubis/personal-website.botPolicies.yaml
TARGET=http://localhost:7797

Configure /etc/nginx/conf.d/personal-website.conf to use Anubis:

upstream anubis {
    server localhost:8923;
}

server {
    listen 443 ssl;
    server_name islabre.fyi;
    root /var/www/html/Personal-Website;

    ssl_certificate /etc/letsencrypt/live/islabre.fyi/fullchain.pem; # managed by Certbot
    ssl_certificate_key /etc/letsencrypt/live/islabre.fyi/privkey.pem; # managed by Certbot

    location / {
        proxy_set_header Host $host;
        proxy_set_header X-Real-IP $remote_addr;
        proxy_set_header X-Http-Version $server_protocol;
        proxy_pass http://anubis;
    }
}

server {
    listen localhost:7797;
    server_name islabre.fyi;
    root /var/www/html/Personal-Website;

    location / {

    }
}

Start Anubis and restart nginx:

systemctl enable --now anubis@personal-website.service
systemctl restart nginx.service

Visit this website. If you see Anubis splash screen then you're good to go!

UPDATE

It seems that this is not enough. I need to combine Anubis with rate-limiting to stop them from requesting this website too much.

To do it, add the following to /etc/nginx/conf.d/rate-limiting.conf:

limit_req_zone $binary_remote_addr zone=perip:10m rate=1r/s;
limit_req_zone $server_name zone=perserver:10m rate=10r/s;

Update /etc/nginx/conf.d/personal-website.conf:

...
server {
    listen 443 ssl;
    server_name islabre.fyi;
    root /var/www/html/Personal-Website;

    ...

    limit_req zone=perip burst=5 nodelay;
    limit_req zone=perserver burst=10;

    ...
}
...

And, test the configuration before reloading:

nginx -t
systemctl restart nginx.service

Using certbot for automatic HTTPS

2026-07-11T01:31:30Z

Apparently, Porkbun renews its SSL certificate every 75 days according to their Knowledge Base. This means that I need to download their SSL bundle every now and then.

Since I run my own server, they suggest me to use certbot instead.

This is a tutorial on setting up certbot in case of me forgetting how to do it.

Setup

SSH to the server:
```
ssh personal-server
```
Update the server:
```
apt update && apt upgrade
```

Install certbot and nginx plugin:

apt install certbot python3-certbot-nginx

Run certbot with nginx option:

certbot --nginx

This will prompt you with several questions for setting up certificate:

Saving debug log to /var/log/letsencrypt/letsencrypt.log
Enter email address or hit Enter to skip.
(Enter 'c' to cancel): [REDACTED]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Please read the Terms of Service at:
https://letsencrypt.org/documents/LE-SA-v1.8-July-06-2026.pdf
You must agree in order to register with the ACME server. Do you agree?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Y)es/(N)o: Y

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Would you be willing, once your first certificate is successfully issued, to
share your email address with the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a founding
partner of the Let's Encrypt project and the non-profit organization that
develops Certbot? We'd like to send you email about our work encrypting the web,
EFF news, campaigns, and ways to support digital freedom.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Y)es/(N)o: N
Account registered.

Which names would you like to activate HTTPS for?
We recommend selecting either all domains, or all domains in a VirtualHost/server block.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1: islabre.fyi
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Select the appropriate numbers separated by commas and/or spaces, or leave input
blank to select all options shown (Enter 'c' to cancel): 1
Requesting a certificate for islabre.fyi

Successfully received certificate.
Certificate is saved at: /etc/letsencrypt/live/islabre.fyi/fullchain.pem
Key is saved at:         /etc/letsencrypt/live/islabre.fyi/privkey.pem
This certificate expires on 2026-10-09.
These files will be updated when the certificate renews.
Certbot has set up a scheduled task to automatically renew this certificate in the background.

Deploying certificate
Successfully deployed certificate for islabre.fyi to /etc/nginx/conf.d/personal-website.conf
Congratulations! You have successfully enabled HTTPS on https://islabre.fyi

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
If you like Certbot, please consider supporting our work by:
* Donating to ISRG / Let's Encrypt:   https://letsencrypt.org/donate
* Donating to EFF:                    https://eff.org/donate-le
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My nginx config file after setting up certbot:

server {
    listen 443 ssl;
    server_name islabre.fyi;

    ssl_certificate /etc/letsencrypt/live/islabre.fyi/fullchain.pem; # managed by Certbot
    ssl_certificate_key /etc/letsencrypt/live/islabre.fyi/privkey.pem; # managed by Certbot

    location / {
        root /var/www/html/Personal-Website;
    }
}

Making sure that certbot.timer is enabled:

root@personal-server:~# systemctl status certbot.timer
● certbot.timer - Run certbot twice daily
    Loaded: loaded (/usr/lib/systemd/system/certbot.timer; enabled; preset: enabled)
    Active: active (waiting) since Sat 2026-07-11 01:09:46 UTC; 10min ago
Invocation: ea48fa3a23754f538c796ca66c054c4a
    Trigger: Sat 2026-07-11 17:31:45 UTC; 16h left
Triggers: ● certbot.service

Jul 11 01:09:46 personal-server systemd[1]: Started certbot.timer - Run certbot twice daily.

Reloading nginx:
```
systemctl restart nginx
```
Go to https://islabre.fyi. Checking for certificate:

Seems like we're done!

Setting up this website with Nginx

2026-07-10T10:46:45Z

This is a little tutorial on setting up Nginx to serve this website.

At first, I went with Coolify since it provides me ease of deployment. Later I decided to wipe the server and start over since the tech stack is too complex for my taste, and I want to learn how to set it up myself.

Prerequisites

A server that can be SSH'd to (I use Hetzner with Debian 13 installed)
A domain (I registered one from Porkbun)
SSL Certificate, so this website can be served over HTTPS (Porkbun provides this as a bundle after them setting up SSL for my domain)

Setup

SSH to the server (make sure you set this up first):
```
ssh personal-server
```
Update the server (if required, restart the server using reboot command):
```
apt update && apt upgrade
```
Install nginx:
```
apt install nginx
```
Enable nginx on startup:
```
systemctl enable --now nginx
```

Add the following content to /etc/nginx/conf.d/personal-website.conf:

server {
    listen 443 ssl;
    server_name islabre.fyi;
    ssl_certificate /etc/ssl/islabre.fyi-ssl-bundle/domain.cert.pem;
    ssl_certificate_key /etc/ssl/islabre.fyi-ssl-bundle/private.key.pem;

    location / {
        root /var/www/html/Personal-Website;
    }
}

On the host, rsync both the website's build artifact and the SSL bundle to the server:

cd /path/to/Personal-Website/
npm run build
rsync -av --delete _site/ root@personal-server:/var/www/html/Personal-Website/

cd /path/to/folder/contain/islabre.fyi-ssl-bundle
rsync -av --delete islabre.fyi-ssl-bundle/ root@personal-server:/etc/ssl/islabre.fyi-ssl-bundle/

On the server, restart nginx:
```
systemctl restart nginx
```
Go to https://islabre.fyi. If the website shows up then you're done!

Hello World

2026-07-09T12:38:41Z

Hi there! This is my first post.

Nothing to see here, since this is for testing.

Anyway, see you in other posts!